Surgeon: You have a stone of three centimeters in your gallbladder.
Me: The size of a golf ball? Well, I’ve always been an overachiever.
Me: How are you going to get a golf ball through my belly button? You’ll disfigure me!
Surgeon: I’ll have to crush the stone to make it fit.
Me: Crush it? But my friends want to see it. One of them calls it my ‘pearl’.
Surgeon: They don’t allow people to take the stones home anymore.
Me: Well, that’s a shame. I was thinking of making mine into a pendant.
Me: So are you a general surgeon?
Me: Like Meredith Grey?
Surgeon: I’ve heard of her. She’s on some show?
Me: Yeah, she’s a rock star surgeon.
Surgeon: I bet she does more than fix hernias and remove gallbladders.
Me: Yeah, once she removed something from a guy that turned out to be his twin. He had absorbed it while they were in the womb. It was really gross.